If the third time's the charm, what is the fourth?

I'm so sick and tired of the driver's license. Am I ever getting it? As you can deduce, I failed at my third attempt to grab the pink plastic. How many more attempts will it take? And not a completely irrelevant question: how much more time and money is this gonna cost me?

*sigh*

Guess I'll just have to restart the process. I really tried hard this time, but obviously I'll need to try again... Not that fond of the idea of going back to the driving school and ask for more driving hours, but what the bloody hell am I suppose to do otherwise?

Back to the drawing board!

Ramble on

I'm a bit nervous. Tomorrow is the culmination of my efforts to take the driver's license once and for all. Even though I've prepared, I still feel hesitant; like it could go either way. I feel I shouldn't be learning new things every time I sit behind the steering wheel, yet I do - shouldn't I feel ready, confident and willing+able? Maybe because I have so much riding on this, and am feeling the pressure before my peers; maybe because I feel that my driving instructors this past week aren't as optimistic as I'd have hoped they would be. Well, nevermind that - all that counts is how I drive tomorrow, not how I've driven before.

If I get my hopes up too high, I might crash and burn; if I don't get my hopes up high enough, I might not drive as well as I'm supposed to. There's a balance here, a very delicate balance, one I hope to find the answer to by the time I drive.

Staying the whole weekend in this appartment may not have been the best idea, but then again, I am like a tree, who likes to spread roots wherever I go. I brought books, work and my computer with me and done as much as I could expect to, though never as much as I could have done. After I eat dinner tonight I have to clean the appartment and erase all evidence of my existence here this past week; a load I wish I didn't have to bear. Though sometimes, chores are the best way to clear your head of thoughts and get on with living your life.

Whenever I travel, I expect to fulfill my potential, desires and become the person I would like to be; too often, I remain the same. Maybe there is solace in knowing that there is a centered self, my soul if you will, that I can return to without losing all sense of direction. But I sometimes wish there were more to it.

Enough rambling.

Game Review: Portal (PS3)

Valve, the creators of the Half-Life series, have developed what could have simply been a small-time component of a goodiebag. Instead, they have crafted one of the strangest, most thought-warping and mind-bending action puzzles I've ever had the sheer addictive joy of playing: Portal.

There is virtually no background to the game. You are given a "portal gun", a handheld device that can create a portal on any surface. You can create an entry portal and an exit portal, and you have to navigate a series of increasingly complex ways to use the portals and using every shred of physics, intelligence and rapid fire problemsolving you can. Challenge yourself and your friends: play Portal!

(warning: prolonged playing may cause some really bizarre nightmares!)

Colbert Report

Many may remember having seen this remarkable man do what millions dream of doing but only a handful of people on the entire planet would dare to if it came down to it: mocking George W Bush, to his face. Watch Stephen Colbert in action at the White House Correspondent's dinner:



I've since discovered that the source of the genius can be enjoyed on his very own show, the Colbert Report (pronounced Cole-bear Ree-pore). His style, a caricaturized heavy-handed right-wing ultra-nationalist is the best way to batter in his message; but regardless of your political stance, I think there are laughs enough to go around!

For full access to the Colbert Report, check out the website:
http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/

(Note: all videos of the show are available, with a liberal dose of ads between segments)

InspireChange: Water Cleanser

Nicolas and I are both strong proponents of technology and philanthropy (well, to be fair, Nicolas is more technological and I am more of a (very humble) philanthropist) We've often discussed all the cool ideas people get and then successfully implement that make the world a little better! We even discussed building a website around it, rating different projects based on the following criteria:

- is it innovative? (solving old problems in a new way?)
- does it actually change anything? (protest lists and "awareness raisers" are not inherently mechanisms of change)
- is it inspiring? (do you feel excited when you hear about it?)

A great example is the Water Vaporizer, a great invention featured on the Colbert Report. Click the link http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/videos.jhtml?episodeId=164042
and scroll to the interview with Dean Kamen!

The Banquet (less philosophy, more filling)

A couple of weeks I hosted a small get-together for some of my former classmates from biomedicine at Karolinska Institute. As I was setting the table, I decided to take pictures of it to provide incontrovertible (wow! is that really a word?) evidence of my l33t cooking skillz:

The menu: salmon hors d'oeuvres, tabboulé, potato salad, chicken/meat pasties, tomato pie, chicken pie, meatpie, broccoli and danablue pie, chocolate cake AND cheesecake: scrumtious!

A time of Exile: Övik

Here at last! I love travelling by train, but the last of leg of the journey was by bus, which is far less of a state of "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", so to speak. The bus ride was followed by a gruelling walk almost constantly uphill to my appartment in the student residential area of Övik.



I settled in easily in a comfy two-room appartment with most amenities available, including a microwave-oven, a coffee percolator, two(!) toilets, a tiny fridge and an even tinier oven. Good enough for me and my basic needs. The sign above, "maximum 30 people in this locale", is setting the bar quite high for my social skills ;)

So during the day I take about 4 hours of driving lessons, requiring me walking up and down the snowy streets of Övik, and in my off time I entertain myself with the books, films and work I brought with me, not to mention updating my blog.

It's cold up here, and the appartment is a bit chillier than I would have liked, but I brought a comprehensive winter wardrobe to ward off the worst of the weather. And now, all I can do is drive like I belong at the wheel!

Confusion rules

I recently received several emails from an acquaintance of mine. The content was heavy with generic, fundamental islamic moral, baked into several school-level poems. I was a bit upset by all the heavy-handed fingerpointing, but the good thing is that it gave me a creative spark.

It doesn't rime, and is probably longer than it could have been, but sometimes you have to accept that your first draft will be your best draft, so here it is:

The Trade

I own a compass,
though I'll glady confess
it's more a gyroscope
and not really a compass at all

It turns north, rotates south
It skips and jumps; what good
Is such a useless device
If you can't trust it to give you straight answers?

I wish someone could pin it down,
tie the needle into a knot -
or if all else fails, hammer
it down so it cannot budge

I wish it would tell me the
same thing on Wednesday
as it would on Monday
regardless of what happened on Tuesday

I wish it would tell me the truth
never waiver in its certainty
Even if it is not entirely sure,
I would feel more cerain if it was.

I wish my father always had an answer.
Instead he always had a reply,
which often was, "You need
to look for your answer".
(Damn, I really hated him for saying that)

Give me a brochure with all the correct answers
I'll trade you my broken compass
Because mine can't even make up its own mind
Can't even make up my mind.

Yours can tell me what I want to hear
Yours can promise me that something is certain
Yours can tell me everything
I never knew I wanted to know
or ever needed to know I wanted

What do you mean, trade them?

You mean, that if I want to know everything
Never have to reason, to doubt, or fear,
or stay up all night with a head
full of questions I can't make heads or tails of,

All I have to do is trade my compass
away, and exchange it for your book?
An easy decision, I
should think.

You'll really like it; did you know
it was a gift from my parents? Granted,
they never taught me how to use it,
or what good it could be

But just so you know,
It holds some sentimental value
to me; of course, though it would
hold more if it worked, right?

A few times, it tried warning me
of dangers, but not as often as I'd have liked;
And very seldom, when I held it

upside down
held my breath
before a mirror
looked from the corner of my eye

I caught a fleeting glimpse
of something rare,
glorious,
wonderful!

Still, I prefer something solid,
something I can look up. I mean,
wouldn't you trade away
all the uncertainy
all the confusion
all the clockwork
for truth inscribed in stone?

Hold on.

I'll tell you what;
maybe I'll hold on to it,
juste a little bit longer,
until I'm sure, dead sure,
that I can't make it work.

There's a certain appeal to it,
a je-ne-sais-quoi, that I'd like
to tinker a bit more with.
I think I'll settle for my uncertainty,
my confusion, my useless clockwork
and leave you to your book.

Maybe I'll change my mind;
maybe I'll return and ask to browse your book;
but don't count on me
trading my compass away.

Northward bound - the exile begins

As I write these words, our train is parked at the station in Gävle. The final destination for me is Örnsköldsvik (Övik for short), where I shall remain in self-imposed exile. The purpose is acquiring a small piece of pink plastic I have long coveted: the driver's license.

Ok, we just started rolling. Thanks to mobile broadband, I have the luxury of remaining connected to the Net by the means of with robust bandwidth - indispensible for me as I'll require internet access in the coming week. I can ill afford remaining long off the grid; part, because I'll need access to my work and regular email, and part because I need something to pass the long hours between driving lessons.




So, why Övik? As fans of the "Omar show" will know, I have twice in the past attempted to best the gruelling driving test required in Sweden to gain the license to no avail. I have finally
implemented a plan I've long harboured. Different locations in Sweden have different success rates for passing driver's exams irrespective of other factors. Örnsköldsvik has the highest success rates of passing driver's tests. Also, the opportunity to (relatively) cheaply drive a large amount of times in a limited time (17 hours in 1 week), the relative isolation from distractions and cheap accomodations all tipped in Övik's favour. And I am quite curious to see how life is lived in a small town in Norrland.


The snowcovered landscapes we're passing are farily typical of Sweden: snow-covered fields, dense forests of pines and spruces. Sunlight on snow is nearly blinding in its intensity in the stark northern landscapes. The Swedish winter was abysmally mild this year, but it seems that the easter holidays are making up for the snowfall by laying a thick white blanket.

I'm hoping the snow won't hamper my driving too much or increase the relative difficulty of the driving test. As Bob Marley would sing, "Time alone will tell". In the meantime, I will continue enjoying my trainride, munching on my coffee and sandwiches, looking out the window at the vast white expanses...

...and blog when that gets boring ;)

March in 100 words or less

Well, long time no blog, so here goes for the highlights of March so far:

Biomedical People Party: I hosted a nice little party for my fellow graduates from the biomedicine programme at Karolinska. I made way too much food, and I spent the whole party and subsequent week trying to get rid of all of the food without wasting any of it - no easy feat! But I've rediscovered the joy of cooking, which is awesome (for me and for you!)



Work was business as usual. I guess that when it will rain, it will pour; but would it be wrong of me to ask for a drizzle?

I spent most of Easter Holiday crashing at my friends Victor and Melissa. In the process, I not only had a great time - I was bullied/sweet-talked by Victor into buying a brand new Playstation 3! We found a great bargain and sealed the deal. Of course, easy come, easy go: the unit won't read any discs, so back to the shop it went.



Also in March: it snowed like crazy for the first time this winter!

Don't miss my upcoming trip to the north. Stay posted!

Know-it-alls will claim I exceeded my self-proclaimed 100 word limit. To paraphrase Tina Charles, "It's my blog, and I'll blab if I want to!"