Ramble on

I'm a bit nervous. Tomorrow is the culmination of my efforts to take the driver's license once and for all. Even though I've prepared, I still feel hesitant; like it could go either way. I feel I shouldn't be learning new things every time I sit behind the steering wheel, yet I do - shouldn't I feel ready, confident and willing+able? Maybe because I have so much riding on this, and am feeling the pressure before my peers; maybe because I feel that my driving instructors this past week aren't as optimistic as I'd have hoped they would be. Well, nevermind that - all that counts is how I drive tomorrow, not how I've driven before.

If I get my hopes up too high, I might crash and burn; if I don't get my hopes up high enough, I might not drive as well as I'm supposed to. There's a balance here, a very delicate balance, one I hope to find the answer to by the time I drive.

Staying the whole weekend in this appartment may not have been the best idea, but then again, I am like a tree, who likes to spread roots wherever I go. I brought books, work and my computer with me and done as much as I could expect to, though never as much as I could have done. After I eat dinner tonight I have to clean the appartment and erase all evidence of my existence here this past week; a load I wish I didn't have to bear. Though sometimes, chores are the best way to clear your head of thoughts and get on with living your life.

Whenever I travel, I expect to fulfill my potential, desires and become the person I would like to be; too often, I remain the same. Maybe there is solace in knowing that there is a centered self, my soul if you will, that I can return to without losing all sense of direction. But I sometimes wish there were more to it.

Enough rambling.